


state of disarry

by brunetteandblond



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, David Deals with His Fam Being Gone, David's Hurting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Post series finale, patrick is a good husband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24611704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetteandblond/pseuds/brunetteandblond
Summary: He wanted to come up with some clever retort, something to send a message to Stevie that he was fine, that he would be fine, that he just needed a little time and space for everything to be okay again. But he couldn’t come up with anything. He resorted to silence.“David… I don’t know about you, but I miss them. Not just your dad, but your mom and your sister too. It’s weird not having them here. Like Schitt’s Creek isn’t the same.”David didn’t want to cry. Stevie had seen him cry before, but he didn’t want her to see him do it again. He wasn’t emotionally prepared for that. He wanted to prove to her that he was okay. He wanted to prove to himself that he was okay. More than anything, he wanted to be fine....David misses his family and tries to learn how to live in Schitt's Creek without them.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, David Rose & Twyla Sands, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Comments: 20
Kudos: 127





	state of disarry

He had never really given a thought about Twyla before, before everything. Before he got married (goddamn, he was _married),_ before they left, before life without them began. He knew that Twyla worked at _Café Tropical,_ now _Twyla’s Café Tropical._ He knew that his sister befriended her (for a reason unbeknownst to him). And he knew that she was always around, always with a smile on her face. Maybe the smile had scared him off. Maybe the fact that she was a person scared him off (he was never very good with people). He didn’t know why he had always stayed away. 

But he wasn’t staying away from her now, as he faced her with a smoothie in his hand that she had made. He was sitting where his sister liked to sit, and as he listened to whatever Twyla had to say, for some reason, he felt like she was there. He could even imagine her sitting next to him, sharing looks of bemusement as Twyla explained a crazy member of her family that was oddly disturbing. 

“It’s not like Nell didn’t know what she was getting herself into. I mean, everyone knew that Dirty Thom was not the most innocent guy in the world. He had been in prison _twice._ I’m not quite sure for what, Olive says that it was something like indecent exposure, but I’m not quite sure. Olive had a tendency to fudge. But Nell dated him anyway.” 

David listened because he didn’t know what else to do as he sipped his smoothie. He was sure that if Alexis _had_ been here, she would have butted in by now and tried to somehow relate whatever was going on with her to whatever shit had happened to Twyla, but he just listened. He didn’t necessarily enjoy Twyla’s stories of blatant misery and dysfunction, but he enjoyed the fact that he didn’t need to say anything. It was relieving, actually, that she didn’t expect anything from him. He thought she was just surprised he was listening. 

“Anway, long story short, Nell’s getting treated for rabies. So, what’s going on with you? How’s Patrick?” 

She was smiling at him and he wished that Alexis was here, filling in the silence. Alexis was always good at that. David was… he tended to make an awkward situation more awkward. Even after spending a ten-minute break with Twyla every day, he still didn’t know what to say, even though he knew to always expect it, giving him every opportunity to come up with a response before he even met up with her. 

“He’s fine. We’re fine. Thanks for the… the smoothie.” 

She grinned and waved at him with a kindness he still didn’t understand why she had for him as he got up to leave. The ten minutes wasn’t quite over, but the amount of energy he had left was slipping every second. 

The trip to the store was a short one, but by the time he entered his own establishment, he felt a little out of breath. Patrick looked up at him (God, David still couldn’t get over how gorgeous he was) and his heart soared. Patrick might not have been able to resurrect all the energy into him, but it was enough. 

As David approached him, his husband asked, “How’s Twyla?” 

David felt a little embarrassed. Patrick only just recently found out that he was spending those ten minutes every day with Twyla after finding out from Stevie that it wasn’t her that he was talking to. David didn’t have a good explanation for why he went to see her every day, but Patrick didn’t force one out of him. He was a little surprised at first, but understanding. Like somehow he understood something that David didn’t. 

“Apparently, her cousin has rabies.” 

Patrick raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms (that looked almost muscled in a tighter shirt than normal--blue, of course). “That’s disturbing. Which cousin?” 

“The one who, like, falls for all the criminals.” 

Patrick chuckled and said, “You have to be more specific.” 

David sighed. “Um, I guess she’s the one who’s dated multiple people with foot fetishes.” 

He nodded like he understood who he was talking about. “Ah. That’s unfortunate. Ooh, I forgot to tell you, someone bought the new scrub. She said that Jocelyn has been praising it non-stop. I’m glad we don’t need advertisements when we have her.” 

Jocelyn had been coming to the store frequently and after a while, David stopped complaining. Sales had been going through the roof. David and Patrick even offered to hire her _again,_ but she declined _again,_ arguing that their family had done enough for her family. (Sometimes David wondered if she came over so often because she missed Moira.) 

Somehow, David didn’t know how it happened, he and Patrick had started having dinner with the Schitt’s every Sunday, with the addition of a revolving group of others including Stevie, Ronnie, and Bob. When Jocelyn first asked them to dinner, it was Patrick who immediately accepted, much to David’s frustration. He had complained the entirety of the first Sunday they ate with them. David had bribed Stevie into coming with them, but it didn’t make things less awkward. Jocelyn and Patrick were pleasantly chatty while Roland, David, and Stevie could hardly handle small talk. 

On the drive back to their apartment that they were slowly packing up, Patrick had asked him, “Are you happy here, David?” 

The blunt question had startled him. He didn’t know that he had been acting like he was unhappy, but the more he thought about it, he had been acting crabby (well, more crabby than usual). But more than that, it was obvious that he had worried his husband, who was looking at him with all the concern in the world. 

David didn’t know how to answer the question. “I’m happy with _you.”_

Patrick bit his lip and frowned. “That’s not what I asked.” 

David didn’t know the difference then, but he was starting to learn. With every moment, he was learning. Learning how to live with his family had a hell of a learning curve, but learning how to live without them, it was something that ached in his bones. He was happy for them, he was. He was happy his father’s business was taking off and that his mom was being taken seriously with the acting and that Alexis had started getting clients. He was so happy that they were doing what they loved. But he still ached. 

Patrick wasn’t the only one who noticed David’s change of attitude and demeanor. Stevie had invited him over for drinks at her place only to find she was giving him somewhat of an intervention. 

“What’s going on with you?” She asked him between gulps of wine. 

“What do you mean?” 

She licked her lips and tugged at her sleeves. “You’re, like, irritable now. I mean, you always have been irritable. But you’re like… beyond that.” 

David just blinked at her. After Patrick’s question, it felt like a slap in the face. He thought he had been doing well, he thought that he had been _hiding_ it well. He thought that he had hidden the ache well, but Stevie was staring at him like she could see it. (Sense it, maybe.)

He wanted to come up with some clever retort, something to send a message to Stevie that he was fine, that he would be fine, that he just needed a little time and space for everything to be okay again. But he couldn’t come up with anything. He resorted to silence. 

“David… I don’t know about you, but I _miss_ them. Not just your dad, but your mom and your sister too. It’s weird not having them here. Like Schitt’s Creek isn’t the same.” 

David didn’t want to cry. Stevie had seen him cry before, but he didn’t want her to see him do it again. He wasn’t emotionally prepared for that. He wanted to prove to her that he was okay. He wanted to prove to himself that he was okay. More than anything, he wanted to be fine. 

But he wasn’t fine. (He wasn’t. He wasn’t.) And Stevie was his best friend, she could see it. She could always see right through him. 

She let him cry until he couldn’t cry anymore. 

And when he was ready, he went home. Patrick knew immediately (he always knew). He sat up from their bed and asked what was wrong. (David wanted to say ‘so much’.) 

But all David could say was, “I think I’m… I feel homesick.” 

Patrick reached out for his husband and pulled him in. He held him tight in his arms and promised him that everything he was feeling was normal. That his family was probably feeling the same way. That Patrick missed them too because they were his family as well. 

“I’m so sorry,” David heaved desperately into his husband’s warm shoulder, hating his own behavior. 

Patrick shook his head and kissed his forehead with more love than David still felt like he deserved. “No apologies, David. Never apologize for how you’re feeling.” 

David didn’t know what to say. He just looked up into Patrick’s soft brown eyes and felt like drowning in them. Patrick was his husband, his _husband,_ and David never forgot how lucky he was to have him, to be with him, to love him, to _be_ loved by him. 

Patrick made him promise that night to tell him whenever he felt down, unsettled, or depressed. It was hard for David to agree to it, he was used to bottling things in until he couldn’t anymore, but he nodded and felt a surprising amount of hope in his heart. Hope that things will get better. Because how couldn’t it get better with a husband like Patrick Brewer?

So, David ate at the Schitt’s house without any complaining. He learned how to converse with Jocelyn about anything and everything (who knew Jocelyn had as many opinions about 1980’s movies as he did?) and learned how to small talk with Roland. He even didn’t hate being around little Rollie Jr. who had somehow taken a liking to him. He could hardly peel the kid off of him. 

And he watched the Jazzagals perform (and somehow got himself into doing their costuming--along with the costuming for the theater). And he drank with Stevie. And he played baseball with Patrick (even though he and Ronnie would fight over him). And he watched his mom’s show when it aired on TV, screaming along with Alexis over Facetime as their dad tried to tell them to settle down. And he opened the store with his husband every morning and closed at night, loving every ounce of it. And he listened to Twyla. 

It was a learning process. He was learning how to live in Schitt’s Creek without his parents and his sister. It wasn’t always easy; there were nights he spent eating ice cream and watching old episodes of his mom’s show and watching Alexis’ pilot episode of her old show that had resurfaced on YouTube. But he wasn’t alone. His family called all the time. And besides, Alexis soon admitted that she missed him just as much as he missed her (though he didn’t word it like that) and came back to the small town. She quickly decided she was going to visit all the time. Schitt’s Creek was her first home too, after all. 

David hummed and agreed about Jocelyn's tenacity being good for business.

"Anyway, I'm glad that you're talking to Twyla. Though, I do think Stevie's getting a little jealous." Patrick wiggled his eyebrows ridiculously, forcing David to smile.

"Really?" David asked, the words sounding more excited out loud than he had intended. "I mean..."

Patrick grinned at him. "Stop. Don't even try."

David shrugged. "Fine. I'll admit it--I'm a big person. I like the attention."

His husband shook his head with incredulity. "At least you admit it."

"Come on, Patrick. I know you like attention too. It's why you've been wearing those tight shirts."

Patrick blushed slightly and looked away. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

David let out a soft snort and hugged his husband because he could. "Hey, I like it. You look _hot."_

Patrick looked back up at him with the most sincere of smiles and David felt it fade a little more. The homesickness. It might have lingered, but it was dimming. David remembered why he chose to stay. He not only loved his husband, but he also loved the home he made with his husband. A home that was worth every ache he ever felt. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!


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